Self-care Sounds Good, but It Can Be Challenging
A couple of clients I work with are really struggling, and have been for a long time, when it comes to taking care of themselves.
With other areas of their lives – work, volunteering, school, church, family or friends – they excel. They’re actually the type of women you’d love to have in your life.
They’re great at taking care of everyone else, but find it challenging to take care of themselves and put themselves first for a recharge. They also tend to beat themselves up for falling short when it comes to personal care and self-motivation.
It’s really hard for them to workout, eat healthy and just love on themselves. Self-care sounds good in theory, but in reality it’s hard. I’m not saying this is you. But, take a step back.
How do you consistently show yourself some love and care for yourself mentally, emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually? Does it easily come to mind what this looks like or do have you have to really think about what this means for you?
I encourage you to take a closer look at how your tank gets filled, or imagine how it could get filled up. I want to offer some ideas to get you started on your personal thought process.
Here’s 5 easy ways to show yourself some love:
1. Journal. Take time to show yourself compassion by expressing yourself in a safe place. Write down what’s bothering you or articulate positive things happening in your life. Jot down five things you’re grateful for today. Reflect on your successes and achievements for the day or week.
2. Pamper. One word – spa. If you can’t afford to get a massage or facial, or just don’t like strangers touching you, I get it. Instead, take a long bath. Play some relaxing music. Burn some candles, put some smell goods in your water.
Take time to soak and make this an intentional decompression process that isn’t about bathing to move on to the next activity. Leave your devices outside the bathroom. Truly unplug. Results aren’t guaranteed if you don’t set the mood.
3. Breathe “real air.” Go outside. Hiking and/or biking are great, but we often don’t have time for all that so step outside for a couple of minutes. Sit down where there are trees or grass and minimal distractions.
Simply observe your surroundings and breathe for five minutes. This can also be done anytime you get outside, like when walking your dog, taking a lunch break, or simply checking the mail, if you make it intentional.
4. Drive. This is soothing for some people. It frees their minds because they have to focus on the road. Because it’s liberating. You could also take a short day trip or weekend road trip to get away.
5. Find a hobby.
Take photos of cool places you seek to discover in your city
Practice tai chi, yoga or CrossFit
Play an instrument
Try a sport like tennis, swimming, boxing or horseback riding
Enroll in a dance or art class
If you have no idea what you’re interested in, just sign up for something. There are often free initial trials. And it's great to invite a friend, but I encourage you to do it alone if you can't find any takers
If this all sounds well and good, but you find it hard to care for yourself, we should explore why. For me, I was addicted to work.
I couldn’t stop. Working at a consulting firm with other type A personalities only perpetuated my behavior. I didn’t know how to take care of myself, relax or decompress.
I had to leave because no one at my job was going to help me take a step back. It was common for colleagues to be sick or hospitalized. No one ever talked about this or seemed to make a connection to work when they became ill. I couldn’t slow down on my own. Despite enjoying my job, I had to leave for the sake of my well-being.
I’m not saying you should quit your job, or that you’re addicted to working, but we all have our reasons. You may believe it’s a lack of time or lack of support, but often it’s rooted in something deeper that’s hard to see on your own.
As another example, a few of my mom clients are burnt out because they do everything. They don’t delegate or ask for help. They put themselves last. Then, they may blame their partner, which creates more stress.
It doesn’t have to be this way but changing a stressful life requires self-reflection and, sometimes, behavior and mindset changes that we resist unknowingly because we don’t know anything different. Holding on to what’s familiar, even if it’s unhealthy, can be comforting in a way.
Ask yourself if your current pace and way of life is sustainable or is it impacting your health and happiness?
Taking care of yourself, certainly, is crucial when it comes to pivoting your career. It takes energy and grit to pursue your true calling.
I share in this free webinar how to take care of yourself while pivoting, and how crucial support is during your transition.