6 Tips for Making Decisions When You're Scared

We’re on the verge of making our biggest purchase to date and I’m having these moments of panic.

Why am I freaking out about buying a home? 

It doesn't make sense because my husband and I have purchased a home together before. We've crunched the numbers. We both like the home and, overall, we feel good about our decision.

I should be excited, right, not panicking?

I decided to get still to observe my thoughts and emotions so I could get some answers.

I realized it’s the weight of making a “bad decision.”

I view the purchase of our home here in Washington, DC, as a serious commitment and major financial investment.

It’s not a pair of jeans I can send back if they don’t look cute. And to add to it,  I’m indecisive. 

Also it’s baffling to me how you can walk around a house for maybe 30 minutes and then, BAM, sign over a crapload of money.

In DC, you can’t sit around pondering whether you’re choosing the “right” house. 

We’ve been fascinated how even with the pandemic houses on the market are moving fast. 

It's common for a seller to get several offers so you've got to decide quickly whether you'd like to make an offer. This push to decide quickly has only exacerbated my anxiety.

In life when making a big decision – whether it’s related to making a major purchase, accepting a job offer or pursuing a business – it can cause angst.  

We don’t want to make a mistake.

The weight of our decisions can wear on us.

What we’ve got to do is embrace the fear and not avoid opportunities that can be frightening. 

Instead of resisting fear, understand that it may be there as you move forward.

Here’s 6 specific tips to make decisions despite feeling fearful:

1) Consider the notion that there isn't necessarily a “bad” decision. 

We make choices. If they don’t turn out as planned, there’s a lesson we can learn that’ll help us grow.

2) - Think about a time you’ve done something similar and how it worked out. 

My best friend reminded me that when my husband and I purchased our last house, I kept saying the same thing then that I'm saying now (and freaking out about it): This is our largest purchase. This feels like such a big deal.

It worked out then and it’ll work out again this time.

3) Ask for more time (or take more time if you can). We can become so concerned about missing out on an opportunity that we end up making a hasty decision. 

It's OK to request additional time. This is different from "analysis paralysis," which my husband and I are also guilty of at times.

In my situation, I pushed away negative thoughts after our agent frantically warned us we could miss out when I requested to revisit the home before submitting our final offer.

We'd been having some back and forth negotiation with the seller.  

Having peace superseded the fear of losing the home.

4) Embrace potential anxiety. The more we try to push it away, the stronger it can become. Observe your emotions, including any angst. Sit with them and process what comes up for you and why.

5) Use all the information you can gather, along with wisdom, to make your best decision. Then, trust the process.

6) Realize that if something goes wrong, you can handle it. You’re stronger than you may realize.

Try to pinpoint what’s causing your fear.

Fear will paralyze you if you let it.

The key is to not be victim to your fears, but to figure out how you can make moves despite it being there.

My clients often admit their biggest roadblock is themselves. This tip sheet about conquering your fears is a way to get a jumpstart.